My story

My story...

My husband has recently found sobriety. I used to think that everything in my life would be just hunky-dory if he would only give up drinking. So why was I not ecstatic, and beside myself with happiness, when he stopped?

Al-Anon has helped me to be honest and realistic that there is no quick fix programme. It prepared me to understand that sometimes the behaviour that I blamed on the drinking may not stop just because of sobriety. I am so grateful to the programme and the members who honestly shared their experience of sobriety and taught me so much.

Whilst I am very happy that my husband is sober and that many things improve each new day, it can also bring its challenges. I was not responsible for his drinking and I am not responsible for his sobriety. I can accept that I need to live my life and allow him his own path, so my happiness and serenity need not be reliant on whether he drinks or not.

My story...

I grew up in an alcoholic family but did not realise it until after my second marriage.

At 15, I became obsessed with a 19 year old man and married him. We were married for 23 years and lived for a while with his alcoholic, abusive father. Two children later and I was still searching for love and attention. My husband, although quite laid back, was not capable of giving me any of these needs and he drank heavily, too. But he was never abusive, only lacking in intimacy and emotion.

Then I met a man who was to become my second husband. He was trouble all the way, and again, an alcoholic. During that 16 year marriage, I found Al-Anon through him finding AA. It had been 16 years of utter trauma and chaos. I knew I had to get out, but again I was totally obsessed about this man and could not let go.

Al-Anon saved my life and my sanity. The first meeting was strange as I thought they would help me to get him to stop drinking. But I kept going back and learned I had to look at myself in all of this. So yes, things have changed for me since Al-Anon. I am not looking for the things I used to look for. I now look after myself and am calmer and more able to be aware of who I meet and how I behave. And most of all, the chaos is my life has gone and I have my own peaceful home . For the first time in my life, I don’t look for anyone or anything else.

My story...

When I discovered my lovely son had alcoholism, it broke my heart in two. All the other drinking in my life never took so much out of me. I seemed to be able to cope in the best way I could. But he found Alcoholics Anonymous nearly three years ago and I found Al-Anon. Before I went into Al-Anon, my life was all over the place, my head was like a washing machine, and every thought was about alcohol, and was my son going to die from this problem, or live.
Through Al-Anon, I have found peace, strength and hope for myself and my son. I love reading my books (Courage to Change, One Day at a Time) and saying the Serenity Prayer. When I am going through a bad time, I open a page at random and it usually brings me comfort.