FAQs about Groups and Meetings

Who are the members?

Members come from all walks of life. They are wives, husbands, partners, sisters, brothers, children, parents, friends or colleagues of alcoholics. No matter what our relationship has been with a problem drinker, we share a common bond: we feel our lives have been deeply affected by another person's drinking.

How will attending meetings help me?

Al-Anon works by members attending meetings, where you will hear about situations much like your own. Members help each other by sharing their own experience and how they have used the Al-Anon programme to change their attitudes and behaviour, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.

How often do groups meet?

Usually once a week. We recommend attending about six meetings before you decide whether Al-Anon is for you. Meetings tend to last an hour and a half.

Do I have to speak?

No. You can just sit and listen.

Will anyone say they’ve seen me there?

We respect one another’s anonymity. We use first names only. Everything that is said is treated as confidential. We do not talk about the people we see or repeat what we have heard at meetings.

Is this some kind of religious organisation?

No. Ours is a spiritual fellowship, not a religious one. Members of any faith, or none at all, are welcome and we make it a point to avoid discussions of specific religious beliefs.

How much is this going to cost?

There are no fees to join. Meetings usually have a collection to pay the rent for the meeting place, to provide Al-Anon literature and to support services, both local and throughout the UK and Republic of Ireland. We contribute what we can afford.

If I want to go to a meeting, what do I do next?

You can find a group near you by going to Find your nearest meeting or you can phone the helpline where you will be given the meeting details.

What are Non-Restrictive meetings?

The term 'non-restrictive' is used world-wide by Al-Anon. All Al-Anon meetings conform to the tradition that the group welcomes anybody in the family - men, women and children - whose lives have been affected by another's drinking. All meetings in Al-Anon UK & Eire are non-restrictive regardless of how the group may wish to name itself.

What are Open meetings?

Open meetings are often attended by both members of Al-Anon and members of Alcoholics Anonymous. They also provide an opportunity for health professionals to attend and hear how families have experienced recovery from the effects of alcoholism in their lives. Click here for a list of Open meetings.

Can health workers and other professionals attend an Al-Anon meeting?

Some groups hold regular monthly or quarterly 'Open' meetings. People working in the health or education fields may attend. For a list of 'Open' meetings,click here.

Does Al-Anon provide any other services?

We have a range of literature available for sale. You may find these pamphlets of particular help:

What Do You Do About the Alcoholic?
So You Love an Alcoholic
Alcoholism, The Family Disease
Understanding Ourselves and Alcoholism
How Can I Help My Children?
To the Mother and Father of an alcoholic
Does She Drink Too Much?
Al-Anon is for Men
Al-Anon Sharings from Adult Children
A Merry-Go-Round Named Denial
Al-Anon Family Groups Welcomes Gays and Lesbians
Al-Anon Sharings from Adult Children
Freedom from Despair

My story...

My son is the alcoholic in my life. He started drinking and taking drugs at the age of about fifteen. We had about six years of almost unbearable incidents. The last straw was when my son phoned me up and said he had had his tongue pierced. He could hardly speak and sounded very drunk. I couldn’t bear to hear another trauma, so I shouted down the phone at him and said I didn’t want to know. I had these awful images in my head that he had pierced his own tongue and was in terrible pain. I couldn’t go through yet another hospital drama. My daughter was there listening to all that was going on, me being hysterical on the phone and then crying in my bedroom. She was only sixteen at the time, going through her GCSE exams, and really didn’t need all this upset in her life. The next day I knew I had to get some help, so I phoned Parent Line and they advised me to go to Al-Anon. From that day my life changed and now after eight years in Al-Anon I am a different person and so is my son.

My story...

My son has had many attempts at recovery over the years but has now been in recovery for about nine months. I know that Al-Anon has played a big part in this achievement and also the fact that I had changed and learnt so much about alcoholism.

At my first Al-Anon meeting I was too scared to go in, so I stood on the other side of the door and listened. It takes a lot of courage to admit that someone you love is an alcoholic. The next meeting the door was opened, I was given a warm welcome and asked if I would like tea or coffee. When I first said my name and that my son is an alcoholic, I was overwhelmed and burst into tears. To admit that was heart breaking for me.

Al-Anon has taught me how to love my son without trying to control him. To have compassion, but also to accept him just the way he is, whether I agree or not. I allow my son to lead his own life, yet I still have a life of my own without feeling guilty.