FAQs about Groups and Meetings

Who are the members?

Members come from all walks of life. They are wives, husbands, partners, sisters, brothers, children, parents, friends or colleagues of alcoholics. No matter what our relationship has been with a problem drinker, we share a common bond: we feel our lives have been deeply affected by another person's drinking.

How will attending meetings help me?

Al-Anon works by members attending meetings, where you will hear about situations much like your own. Members help each other by sharing their own experience and how they have used the Al-Anon programme to change their attitudes and behaviour, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.

How often do groups meet?

Usually once a week. We recommend attending about six meetings before you decide whether Al-Anon is for you. Meetings tend to last an hour and a half.

Do I have to speak?

No. You can just sit and listen.

Will anyone say they’ve seen me there?

We respect one another’s anonymity. We use first names only. Everything that is said is treated as confidential. We do not talk about the people we see or repeat what we have heard at meetings.

Is this some kind of religious organisation?

No. Ours is a spiritual fellowship, not a religious one. Members of any faith, or none at all, are welcome and we make it a point to avoid discussions of specific religious beliefs.

How much is this going to cost?

There are no fees to join. Meetings usually have a collection to pay the rent for the meeting place, to provide Al-Anon literature and to support services, both local and throughout the UK and Republic of Ireland. We contribute what we can afford.

If I want to go to a meeting, what do I do next?

You can find a group near you by going to Find your nearest meeting or you can phone the helpline where you will be given the meeting details.

What are Non-Restrictive meetings?

The term 'non-restrictive' is used world-wide by Al-Anon. All Al-Anon meetings conform to the tradition that the group welcomes anybody in the family - men, women and children - whose lives have been affected by another's drinking. All meetings in Al-Anon UK & Eire are non-restrictive regardless of how the group may wish to name itself.

What are Open meetings?

Open meetings are often attended by both members of Al-Anon and members of Alcoholics Anonymous. They also provide an opportunity for health professionals to attend and hear how families have experienced recovery from the effects of alcoholism in their lives. Click herefor a list of Open meetings.

Can health workers and other professionals attend an Al-Anon meeting?

Some groups hold regular monthly or quarterly 'Open' meetings. People working in the health or education fields may attend. For a list of 'Open' meetings, click here.

Does Al-Anon provide any other services?

We have a range of literature available for sale. You may find these pamphlets of particular help:

What Do You Do About the Alcoholic?
So You Love an Alcoholic
Alcoholism, The Family Disease
Understanding Ourselves and Alcoholism
How Can I Help My Children?
To the Mother and Father of an alcoholic
Does She Drink Too Much?
Al-Anon is for Men
Al-Anon Sharings from Adult Children
A Merry-Go-Round Named Denial
Al-Anon Family Groups Welcomes Gays and Lesbians
Al-Anon Sharings from Adult Children
Freedom from Despair

My story...

When coming into an Al-Anon meeting, the first thing you want to know, usually, is how to stop the alcoholic drinking and causing the chaos in your life. What I first had to learn was that my life had become unmanageable and that I was powerless over alcohol. What a difference understanding that made to my life.

To begin with, accepting that life was unmanageable was hard - hadn't I kept all the balls in the air and sorted out the chaos in the alcoholic's life? Did I not have things under control? But you have to let the alcoholic have the responsibility for their own life. Even so, it was not all plain sailing. I had to be sure that someone was keeping an eye out for the grandchildren, that they weren't in any danger and that they had somewhere to escape to. It's important to tell them about this illness that their parent is suffering from, and to give them support.

My story...

I left my dysfunctional home when I was sixteen and four years later, when I met the father of my children, I thought that I could help him with his moodiness, his cynicism and lack of motivation. I regularly believed him when he told me it was my mouth, my behaviour, my family, my friends and my general personality that made him so miserable that he had to drink. I stayed for eleven years with our relationship becoming more and more toxic; as his illness had progressed, so had the violence.

About a year and a half into the relationship I was told about Al-Anon and eventually found the courage to ring the help line. The woman I talked to told me where the nearest meeting was and how to get there and said, 'You will find support and comfort there'. It was the first time that anybody had stated that this situation might require some support and comfort.

I remember walking into that first meeting and feeling, for the first time in my entire life, truly at home.