What is Al-Anon?
Someone else's drinking can affect your life - be it a relative or friend, male or female.
Someone else's uncontrolled, and uncontrollable, drinking can:
- turn love to hate
- bring you to the depths of despair
- affect you financially
- lead to violent outbursts
- make you doubt your own sanity
- make you think that you are the problem.
Whatever your relationship to the drinker, whatever your story, Al-Anon can help.
Al-Anon Family Groups hold regular meetings where members share their own experience of living with alcoholism. Al-Anon does not offer advice or counselling, but members give each other understanding, strength and hope.
If you met my daughter you would probably agree with me that she is a wonderful person, full of life, gregarious, caring and generous. Maybe I am biased; most mothers are.
However, as alcohol took its toll on her, all that seemed to vanish. She became withdrawn and unavailable as the tragic illness of alcoholism took over her life. As in many families, we were in denial. I thought this was just a temporary hitch as she was depressed after a difficult experience.
I was constantly checking up on her, worrying if the phone was not answered, taking on her responsibilities. All my waking thoughts were focussed on her problems and at night I hardly slept. I searched my mind for what might have caused the problem - had I done something in her childhood which contributed to her feeling the way she did? I set about trying to get professional help for her through the health service and voluntary organisations, but to no avail. Living with alcoholism is a roller-coaster of emotions, building up our hopes after a few days without alcohol only to have them dashed down to despair when the drinking starts all over again. The further down the illness took her, the lower became my morale, self esteem and confidence.
In looking for help for her, I was given a phone number which turned out to be that of Al-Anon. I was told that I could not stop my daughter drinking but I could get help for myself. This came as a surprise as I firmly believed that if she stopped drinking then I would be fine. However I went along to the local meeting where I was met by such a warm reception that I felt sure I would get some help.